SwedeMason over at B3ta.com must have spent a lot of time on this – a thoroughly entertaining electro collage, made to sound like it’s compered by Jeremy Clarkson. The opening got me, with the Tim Rice interview a brilliant little precursor to the following tune, which features the MCing skills you probably never knew Clarkson had.
Full marks then, to B3ta and Swede.
*end of football comment*
72 Comments
Just woke up with a throbbing hangover, turned on my computer and found this. Utter brilliance.
Awesome.
Hmm, it seems you tube isn’t working on my computer today for some reason either. First no archers, then no opportunity to watch a clever person ridicule a reactionary bigooted twit.
*sulks*
Bloody awful.
You should hear this podcast.
I thought it was jolly good too, and my Ugeine is far worse than Hangover’s.
I liked it – it’s not really Napper’s cup of tea really, is it?
FREE STICKERS!
http://eyevee.wordpress.com/2009/07/29/free-stickers-for-every-reader/
powerslidepowerslidepowerslidepowerslide
I think it is really, SH. He’s just being grouchy… HAY, HE’S LIK A BER WITH A SOAR HED!!!!!qw£%^
No, Piqued, I think it’s shit. I’m not legally required to like everything off of the internet, y’know?
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHPcb
oH U
CUM AN GIVE ME BIGS HUG
Blah blah blah …
Hello again.
I have just had my mid year review.Amazingly, they said I was doing very well. I was exppecting something more along the lines of ’stop fucking about on TV blogs and get on with some fucking work, you lazy good fer nothing’. This obviously proves that i am aces!
*dies of surprise*
Did they pat you on the arse and say “good job love”?
Well, I hope they didn’t notice your spelling, Mel
My spelling if fine, piqued, it is my kkeyboard that has a stutter.
Ex – no, no they didn’t.
Apparently, failed author and loyal WWM reader Stan ‘Did I Mention I’d Written A Book?’ Cattermole has a cashflow problem. Apparently, he needs to raise £3000 in a hurry (to pay off gambling debts, I assume) and is asking the internet for ideas.
Can we help Stan out? If we all put our heads together, we’ll surely find a way of raising the money without having to stoop to the depths of actually having to buy his wretched, cobbled-together in a weekend, poorly-written confessional?
Dear God! Surely it won’t come to that??
Perhaps he could do that little red paper clip thing, where he does swaps on the internet?
I’m glad that they didn’t do that Mel, because that would have been sexist.
Naps – tell Stan to get a hotmail email acount. He’ll soon be inundated with offers of BIG £££££ WINS!!!
Mel – Is that the one where you end up with a house? How long does it take? From Stan’s tweet, it sounded like he needed the money pretty damn sharpish. Gangsters could be poised over his quivering legs as I type, like.
Excelsior – But are these genuine BIG £££££££ WINS, or fake ones that come off of Nigeria?
yes, I believe they ended up with a house. I have no idea how long it took, but he only wants 3k, so perhaps he could do the budget line equivalent?
Just asking for cash and giving a paypal link has proven extremely lucrative for other bloggers, I understand.
No these are for real, it says 100% GENUNE and everything.
Can I have some money first?
He could always sell shots of his penis at different times of the day or hanging out in various exctic locations?
I got my wallet out already
Hi gang!
‘exotic’ naturally
I will offer you the fitee pee i lent roszs the other week, if you like, swines.
Hullo Clarry.
How’s tricks?
Mel – But Stan’s already tried that. He went as far as ‘writing’ a book, and STILL he’s in danger of ending up buried under a motorway flyover. His twelve loyal readers can only buy so many copies, and I can’t see the wider public flocking to his rescue – not for a book made off of a blog. Not for that.
No, we need to find a sensible solution to the problem …
How’s about we all pool our talents for an auction? Nick could record a song, Swineshead could write something somebody might actually want to read and I could donate one of my third-rate cartoons? Add whatever it is everyone else could do to the pot, and we could be looking at tens of pounds.
IT’S A START.
Aye, it’s a start nappers. However, i return to the fact that there have been other websites that have said ‘eek, we are temporarily in danger of being hunted down by Bad Men, due to an ill advised transaction with a loan shark, please help, here is our paypal number’ and have recieved bucketloads of cash, without having written any book, just words on a webpage.
I will make some cakes and jam for your little jamboree, though, if you like.
Are you suggesting Stan’s one of those Nigerian scamsters?
‘Stan – Aid”?
Stan Aid sounds like a goer. Should I write to Bono?
Someone has eaten the fat bird’s Dairylea triangle out the fridge in the office and she’s kicked off.
I helped by informing her she ‘didn’t need it,’ didn’t go down well
I kicked off when someone nabbed my Dairylea triangle once. When I was about five years old.
Good one, I tell the fat cvnt that now
Tell her she’d be more suited to laughing cow. And then strike her with the back of your hand.
Dave, I think that is the best comment you’ve ever made.
No Nappers, I am not saying that about stan.
Are you stan? Is your face like a bag of elbows.
Stan aid is a good plan.
Laughing cow *giggle*
Stan-Aid©
Mel – I’m not Stan, no. And I’m bloody glad I’m not, neither. Not with the Russian mafia on my tail, looking to get back the £3000 I borrowed off them to go on a ‘research trip’ to Bangkok.
©? You rotten, grasping bugger, Nick. And here was me thinking all the proceeds would go to Stan.
Sorry. Mediocre rubbish.
Mingles!
I’ve been busy catching up on all the posts and comments since I was here last. On a busy day it takes AGES before I can talk to you all. Damn my OCD to hell and back.
Where has mingles’ monkey gone?
Also, CM, What is mediocre rubbish? The clip, the post or the comments?
Hullo again Clarry
the clip. I never usually read the comments.
hello clarry, mr napoeleon sir. congratulations on your new media career.
My new media career? When did I get one of those?
Or did you mean Clarry’s new media career?
dont you and mr beaky run some sort of local radio show these days?
*orders Stan-Aid tees, matches, elbows*
Oh, that.
YOU OLD PAEDO.
Actually, Nick, you can also get a face a bit like a bag of elbows by getting your face bitten by all mosquitoes.
*shakes fist*
What do we need the matches for?
Mel, I got eaten alive over the weekend. My feet and back are covered in red bumbs, so beat that
*wins*
is that your catchphrase! I know you ‘disc jockeys’ need a catchphrase, something about your crinkley bottom and so on.
Im no expert, but I think that catchphrase might be counterproductive. Unless your guests are jonathan king, gary glitter and the ghost of michael jackson, surely you’re in danger of alienating your guests? that said, Im no media expert.
You’re just jealous that you’ve not been invited onto the radio (internet division) like wot me, Piqued and Swineshead have, Mingles. You may poo-poo our new media careers but, when it boils down to it, you’d snap our hands off were we to give you a guest spot presenting this week’s Hit Parade.
And anywya, you’re a mental retard.
well, Piqued I got eaten by vicious things in Japan, that actually caused bruising all up my legs and arms. Now I am back home, I fell asleep on the sofa yesterday, and forgot to shut the back door, and got bitten by all mosquitoes on my face. I react badly to mosquito bites, and now my face looks like a bag of swollen, angry, red, elbows.
*at least ties for first place*
Mosquito is a Spanish word. Mosca is fly and quito suggests small. I mention this because the Spanish speaking world is usually surprised that the word is the same in English.
DINLT – Balls! ‘Mosquito’ is a BRITISH word. It’s a combination of the words ‘Mo’, which is another name for the poncified singer Morrissey, ’squit’, which is a single diarrhoea, and ‘o’, which is self-explanatory.
Spanish, indeed! FAH!
Well Napoleon, its an enjoyable listen. And I very much doubt my mumbling incoherent scottish accent would add anything useful to the mix. I particularly like your ‘Maris from Frasier/Vera from Cheers’ unseen wife/girlfriend character. Marvelously post-post modern old chap.
Mel, you may have been looking at the white tape when it came to mozzie bites in Japan but I’m afraid carelessness in the UK leading to your being eaten puts you very much last. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.
Anyway, I’m off now. You’ll get nout of me tomoz because I’m getting inked like the big immature show off I’ve become as a direct result of denying my age. I’ll be getting a Harley Davidson next before dumping my missus for a 14 year old Thai girl.
Hey, anyone of you squares like pop music?
*dances awkwardly with thumbs up*
I CAN BOOGIE YOU ALL UNDER THE TABLE
*collapses by toilets 5 minutes later*
She’s not a bloody character, you dementia-riddled apeman. She’s sat to my left as I type, moaning that InDesign’s playing funny buggers.
*whispers*
I am not in the UK piqued.
Loving the jive here are you?
Mel..
According to the “Mosquitoes” chapter in Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things, by Lafcadio Hearn (1850–1904), mosquitoes are seen in Japanese popular belief as reincarnations of the dead, condemned by the errors of their former lives to the condition of Jiki-ketsu-gaki, or “blood-drinking pretas”.[36]
Hitler said that Mel, Adolf fucking Hitler!!
whatever. keep up the good work old boy.
say hello to swineshead for me.
ps – hello piqued. hope youre well sir.
charlie mingles
xxx
More interesting info
The word “mosquito” is Spanish for “little fly,” and its use dates back to about 1583 in North America (Europeans referred to mosquitoes as “gnats”).
You lying bastard, DINLT.
Hello!
‘Beaky’?
Eh?
*rubs nose*
Adolf Hitler said he was not in the UK?
You might disagree with a number of his philosophies, but that one surely stands up to scrutiny?
I don’t think I’m alone in reckoning the scene in Close Encounters of the Third Kind where Richard Dreyfuss constructs a mountain out of mashed potato would have been much grittier had he built it out of faeces.
Imagine his wife and children’s horrified faces as the shit mountain went up, and the look of disgust as the stink reached their noses. ‘Specially as they’re trying to eat their dinner at the time.
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