Quiz show kingpin and housewives’ favourite Chris Tarrant has a new show on the way – and it sounds like a belter!
Almost as if they were reading The Friday Question last week, the producers of his new UKTV Watch show (yes, apparently this IS a real channel) Tarrant Lets The Kids Loose have come up with the ‘hilarious’ premise of sending kids to work, like they did in the old days.
According to the blurb, it’s a family show and “invites kids to join the adult world – whether it’s running a café, a radio station or hairdressers, they’re the ones in control.”
What’s more, they’re using hidden cameras! My sides are starting to strain a bit just at the thought. Apparently, “Tarrant Lets the Kids Loose shows parents just how capable their children really are – and their reactions are priceless!”…
I’m sorry? Their reactions are priceless? What sort of priceless reactions are they expecting?
- “Well I knew he liked Lego but to have project managed the construction of that skyscraper was quite astounding.”
- “We always knew she could make something of herself. The extra money from her stripping is going to come in handy.”
Sounds awful if you ask me, but if any of you find yourselves being served by a pint-sized pub landlord or manhandled by a mini-policewoman in the next few weeks, at least you’ll know the gurning visage of Tarrant isn’t far away.
*end of football comment*
56 Comments
“Well I knew he liked Lego but to have project managed the construction of that skyscraper was quite astounding.”
I lol’ed, in quite a shrill stylee, in a near-silent office.
I can do a bloody good impression of Tarrant, I think SH has heard it?
I don’t remember that, Piquedy boy.
I shall remind you later after we’ve made love
I’d pay good money to be manhandled by a mini-policewoman.
I thought that pic of Tarrant had been tampered with to make him look all extra-ancient. But think it’s actually what he looks like… He needs to spend his TLTKL fee on getting his teeth fixed, or at least get that black bit touched in with tippex.
You strike me as a bit of a sex pest 4*.
SO far today, i’ve eaten half a packet of choclate biscuits and a jam doughnut. Feel a bit sick now.
I’ve written in to the BBC to complain about Look North presenter Jenny Hill’s teeth. They’re that ludicrous shade of bright white that makes you do nothing but look at her thinking about how unnatural her teeth are.
DO you think she’s been tippexing them Nap?
Thanks Clarry!
Someone (the dreaded Chris Moyles I think) was saying the other day about looking at telly and films predating the teeth whitening phenomenon. Once you notice it’s hard not to spend the whole time looking at the jagged yellow teeth – even in the American progs/films.
Nah, Clarry. It’s that damned dental treatment wot makes you look like a moron US high school student. Just another of those ‘only in America!’ things we used to laugh at that are now over here.
HARRUMPH!
Soz 4*, that was a bit harsh of me – but you do always manage to lower the tone of conversation into something sekshewal.
I know she was famed for her stupid teeth, but I saw footage a little while back of Esther Rantzen pre-dental work. Like Shane McGowan but more ratty.
What about him?
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tmz.com/media/2009/06/0618_new_teeth_launch.jpg
Tarrant does look old in that picture… I walked past him in London a while back and he kept looking at me as if waiting for me to approach him for an autograph or something. Or he might have thought I was famous… Odd. Can’t remember whether I thought he looked old though.
Crispy, does that mean you look a bit like someone famous?
I don’t think so, but seem to have loads of look-a-likes. Actually, maybe Tarrant wanted to send me to work in a grown up’s job? Damn, missed an opportunity for career progression and ‘hilarious’ situations.
That’s OK, Clarry, I feel it’s my self-appointed role here as ‘Keeper Of The Euphemisms’.
Bah! Everything’s already being run by children anyway.
No, but look: if you cover up either the left or the right side of his face ^^ with a piece of paper – it doesn’t look like Tarrant is smiling at all…
In fact, it looks like he wants to bite your throat open, and drink all your blood.
Go on, try it.
Pilchard’s right.
Pilchard? You’re right.
pilchard – I just tried that and you are correct. WEIRD.
The right side of his face looks like he’s jizzing onto a bush in a needle park.
Jesus! There’s a fella on the radio whose daughter’s passed 30 GCSEs.
30!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1209383/Not-sweet-Fathers-outrage-pornographic-candy-wrappers.html
I cannot begin to explain the joy this story gave me.
I agree, he’s 110% right… subtle sexualisation of young children in various forms and then people wonder why the UK has the highest teen pregnancy rate. Go figure. Well done for spotting it
- Lucy Marsh, London, 27/8/2009 12:51
Nice one, Dave.
Could anyone possibly guess Clarry’s real-life occupation? Oh, hey Clarry!
Dave mk II – I seen that! I seened it! Very comical! Who would have thought it would be POSSIBLE to draw a lecherous-looking lime? Why is it always the lime who is the dirty fella? AAAAY?
CM: is she a dental technician?
TARRANT FACT:
Do you remember Tarrant was arrested/cautioned or something for throwing cuttlery in an Indian restaurant a few years back? It was the Mem Saab in Nottingham and their naan bread is the greatest in the land. Its probably shut now though and the rest of Nottingham is pretty wank.
“… their naan bread is the greatest in the land.”
Yes, because no other Indian / Pakistani / Bangladeshi cook in Great Britain has yet mastered the intricacies of sticking some unleavened dough to the side of a clay oven, have they?
Squirtle – There’s a curry house in Rusholme that has a picture of no other than This Morning’s resident doctor, Chris Steele, on the window endorsing the place as ‘his favourite curry place in the world’.
Your story doesn’t sound so impressive now, does it?
TARRANT FACT: On WWTBAM? he actually patted a disabled man several times on the head. He should be shot in his wonky old face.
4* – nul points, old thing.
Oh Nappers, what’s up? You mizrubble old biffer! Did this morning’s masturbation not reach a satisfactory conclusion?
Clarry’s Mam – Do you know what ‘making an observation’ means? Yet to grasp the concept of this site? Not read anything else I’ve ever written? Still assuming something’s up when I write something in exactly the same tone as always?
Which is it? Or are you just being irritating for the sake of it?
CM: is she a designer of Mock Tudor wendy houses for the rich and famous?
Snapoleon – yup me enjoy being irritating, but you isn’t always that snappy you monstrous turd burglar
4* – no
4* but actually very very close
But you’ll concede I’m snappy quite a lot of the time, yes? And, that being the case, constantly pointing out my snappiness is tedious? Yes?
Not for me, Snaps!
Then let the hilarity continue!
HA. HA. HA.
Plus PS Snaps is that your Gordon Ramsay impression, yes? Say ‘done’ after everything, too – it adds an air of authenticity – after all, you night be GR, mightn’t you? Have you never really been a professional footballer? Are you nearly bankrupt? Hmmm…all falling into place now…
CM: is she Duncan Bannatyne?
There’s only one celebrity chef called GR and that’s Gary Rhodes. He’s been in the game far longer. Imagine how AWT would feel if an angry, crator-faced arsehole called Alan Wordsworth Tennant started frying fish and calling himself AWT? He’d be unhappy.
Sorry, Clarry’s Mam, but I can’t answer you at the moment. I’m too busy sewing my sides back together.
And changing your pants, Snaps? AGAIN?
4* so close! SO CLOSE!
Yes! That too! Ha ha ha!
CM: is she Junction 4 of the M6?
NPA
Snaps – sorry, I can’t read any more of your comments, I’ve been blinded by the vitriol spewing forth from your gaping, angry maw.
4* – bullseye! (yes, she’s Jim Bowen)
*collapses laughing*
My son will be appearing on Tarrant Lets The Kids Loose, he spent a day being a guard on a steam train. He had the time of his life and is thrilled that he is gonna be on TV.
Was he involved in the London Midland debacle at the weekend Cheryl? Just tell him to avoid Bob Crow and the RMT.
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