Across the pond in the good ol’ US of A, they’re constantly plugging products not only around but also within in their TV shows.
To give you an example, if you’re a fan of watching gaudy nothingness on the box, you’ll have seen the extended Walmart ad in the last America’s Next Top Model – a case of product placement to take the breath away. In it, a whole ten to fifteen minute sequence took place in which a make up item was relentlessly plugged, featuring as the prize in a totally meaningless task simply so that they could repeat the benefits of using it over and over again. The judges looked embarrassed and even the representative of the make-up company looked slightly sheepish – so blatant was this interwoven advertorial. Only Tyra Banks didn’t bat an eyelid – and that’s because she’s an evil cyborg.
And an arsehole.
But us Brits shy away from the idea of recommending retail items on proper telly – to the point that we blur out the labels of soft drinks labels and designer clothes-tags in our reality shows – only mentioning brands if it’s totally contextually relevant. And that’s something to be proud of!
Or is it?
Is it, perhaps, a massive missed opportunity?
Should ITV go crazy with the advertising, finding the perfect product fit for every show in its schedule and start hawking items like there’s no tomorrow, for coin?
Should even the BBC get in on the act and start scooping up some sideline cash in the form of in-programme commerce?
- Should Gardener’s World feature extended segments devoted to the use of The Garden Claw?
- Should we see cops on The Bill pop to Pret for a badly-made, burnt out and over-heated paper cup of coffee?
- Should Adrian Chiles be allowed to tuck into delicious pork pies by Geo Adams & Sons throughout transmission of The One Show?
- … and should The X Factor carry five-minute tributes to Brain’s Faggots throughout each episode?
There is serious folding-money to be made here – and we need YOU to help us out.
Assign each show its perfect brand, WWMers – then pitch us your ideas on how you’d seamlessly ease its presence into the show of your choice!
Friday Question suggested by Nick Tann
203 Comments
yay quote virginity taken!
remember when this was seen as a joke, like in Wayne’s World (or Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes for that matter)? I think it’ll be a disaster, like ‘Ender’s trying to talk about Jacko’s death, Brit characters just don’t do well mentioning real-world stuff-mainly becauise they’re all crap actors.
Good. So what product would you place where and how?
YOU HAVEN’T ANSWERED A SINGLE THING THAT WAS ASKED OF YOU.
*throws clipboard to the pavement*
I have been noticing blatant plugs for Heinz ketchup on the beeb of late.
Anne Robinson is a walking (but lacking in facial expression) advert for botox and Harley Street
Kate Spicer, on the other hand, is most definitely not. She was looking decideldy saggy on Masterchef lat night.
And I still cannot see what got Nick so riled about the (normal) way MRJ eats.
I would paper the walls of the Jeremy Kyle Show set with torn out pages from the jewellery section of the Argos catalogue. Just in any of the guests needed reminding where to buy their sovvy rings and chains.
Robot Wars should advertise Castrol GTX
Loose Women should advertise Preparation H (not for the face, mind you)
That couple of gay decorators (Colin and someone) would make a great advert for Fruit Shoots…
Tiffany in EastEnders should be made to wear a sandwich board advertising a headlice treatment.
Phil Mitchell could threaten to torture Archie with a range of Black and Decker powertools, pointing out the great features of each as he does so.
Hevver from EastEnders could find her lost George Michael Greek yoghurt lid, which would have magically transformed into an Activia lid.
I don’t care, I’m an artist, and should the makers of cold, lightly sparkling, oh-so-refreshing, thirst quenching Strongbow be reading, and want to give me a truckload of free booze, I don’t think I’d be interested….
I’ve been doing 3 of those Activia yoghurts a day for a month now and I’ve noticed NO DIFFERENCE to my digestive tract. I’m still a bloated old hag. LIARS.
or those fine producers of pure pot, traditional, smooth Irish Whiskey at Jamesons for that matter
oh, hang on….
http://slashingtheseats.net/2009/10/05/jamesons-cult-film-club/
I like pilchards idea of just having one programme act as a single repository for all of the product placement, then the viewer can choose whether or not they wish to be advertised to in this manner.
Barbara Windsor can advertise ear plugs and throat sweets
Interceptor can advertis hs own blog on a TV blog..
..oh, hang on.
Rickay can advertise fish oil supplements to demonstrate their efficacy as a brain food
Can Terminator do motor oil? Or Top Gear? How about everything on BBC3 showcasing Blinkers. You know, like horses wear? They’re perfect for a relentless cheery, fuck-witted, half informed view of the world, where, bad things, like, probably happen and things, but it’s like, happening a long way away probably.
Durex™ littering the stage at Jeremy Kyle as a reminder to “PUT SOMETHING ON IT!”
Interceptor – unless you are Stacey Dooley, who gets right in there and deals with the tough issues in person!
Ethel can advertise Ceasar dog food.
Perhaps you use the spoon in the same way as the bullet headed one Mel eh?…
*skunk eye*
Nick, are you on drugs? Can i have some?
Dirty Den could advertise swimming lessons and divorce lawyers4u and accident lawyers4u
Mr popadopilous (sp? – him that owns the launderette in easties) could advertise all soap powders, agony aunt services and cash cleaning services
you could watch Katy Brand’s big ass show, and they would give the illusion that her impressions were anything at all like the people they’re supposed to be, and that they were even remotely amusing.
The daily express could sponsor Strictly Come Dancing
the Walfor Gazette could advertise flat swaps, erotic prostate massage and African Faith Healers…
Just Berocca Mel, look!
“Anton, we’ve got some products we’d like you to casually mention on It Takes Two, if you wouldn’t mind. There’s these Baci chocolates. No? How about the new Sigur (ros) album? This pog? A hippo? Anton? Anton?”
Nick, If you are offering to show me your orange wee, then I think I’ll pass, thanks
Just got back from the loo Mel. Magnificent!!
Art attack could advertise the individual responsible for the latest Ralph Lauren US Ad. He will obviously be needing a new job in the near future
Lily Allen could do her (sadly, and in my opinion, prematurely axed) talk show with a can of Coke prominently on display.
All BBC news reporters to sign off in this style:
“Nick Robinson, BBC News, Because I’m worth it.”
I’d like to see Simon King suddenly turn to camera mid shot and inform us that “you know when im filming rutting deer i find i get the best results using…
(i don’t know any posh cameras)”
Mel, interestingly* the launderette in Enders already prominently displays an ad for Ariel. I know that the Vic has Kingsland crisps and Max likes a glass of Brigadoon whisky, but for some reason they didn’t bother to make up a washing powder brand – such as GOVE**.
*boringly
** flogs dead horse before it has run let alone died
Anne Robinson to chew Hubbabubba throughout The Weakest Link.
If they can retrofit product placements into the original Star Trek series, then Kirk, Spook and Deforestation Bones could beam down to a nicely carpeted alien world each week – courtesy of Allied Carpets (they’re allied with the Federation har har).
Masterchef sponsored by Kinder Egg
The dad in My Family loses his dentist’s licence and they have to sell the house and move into DFS.
Whats that Peggy? You’ve run out of unbranded voka?
Then it’ll have to be the smooth yet powerful hit you can only get from Absolute.
Neat no ice mind
Doctor Who replaces his sonic screwdriver with a Swiss Army knife. And a giant Toblerone.
Rhod was pretty good on Buzzcocks last night eh?
(bright yellow Mel, almost fluorescent!)
Is there a new podcast today? I work tonight, and usually I spend at least an hour listening to the greatest podcast in the history of the universe WWM. And that was one long run on sentence!
Pilch – I don’t watch eatsies to know that. If anne robinson were to chew anything, how would you know? her face hardly moves when she is speaking as it is…
Ginge – Masterchef is presented by a kinder egg, so you could onto to something there
Yarg Nick, i thought that as well.
INT. QUEEN VIC – DAY
IAN sits, lost in thought. PHIL walks by, notices hin, and stops.
PHIL
Cheer up, it might never happen.
IAN
Everything happens eventually, no matter how implausible.
PHIL
That’s philosophical, for you.
IAN
I don’t know… It’s…
PHIL
What?
Ian places a heavy sack on the table.
IAN
It’s all this unwanted gold. I don’t know what to do with it.
+++SCRIPT EDITOR’S NOTE:
This scene is far too long.
Mel, I’m a great fan of backgrounds, so I keep a keen eye on the posters in EastEnders, and the products in the minimart, and the purposefully-walking extras. I don’t know how Ariel managed to get such good camera angles. Possibly there’s a scandal waiting to be unearthed there. Does Deieteric Dietrich Dereck the series producer read WWM? If so, perhaps he could clarify.
The team from Hustle trick a “mark” out of a different Nokia phone each week, marvelling at the wide range of different communications solutions the leading Finnish company offers in the global marketplace, before all smiling at each other.
A new series of Black Books, in which Bernard is constantly complaining that he can’t compete with the excellent service and low low prices of Amazon.
oh the WWM podcast hould do product placement for fags an rizzlas
Paxman only to read the headlines from papers that pay a fee
Rosemary and Thyme investigate murders where the victim has been stabbed, bludgeoned and/or buried using products from a rival pair of sleuths, Spear and Jackson*.
*”synonymous with steel”, according to their website
Advertising on WWM?
I’d be so angry, i’d rip up my designer gamer bean bag.
All cigarettes to be digitally removed from classic movies and replaced with Pepperami.
I suggested Immodium as a possible sponsor for the WWM podcast, but I don’t think the makers have made an offer yet.
The ad for Nick’s vinyl project was pretty classy though, wasn’t it? Maybe you should just start advertising things in the podcast, whether the companies involved like it or not.
The could put the number of The Priory on the side of The Bucket (Britain’s favourite gameshow).
I wouldn’t put any of this past us. Frankly, if the money was right, I’d spend the whole podcast reading out advertisements.
Not entirely sure I’ve got the voice for it, mind. Swineshead or Piqued could probably do a better job because they sound like posh sods with plums in their mouths.
Nasa launches a rocket to hit the moon and confirm the presence of Coke.
…leaving Mr Cowell with massive anal damage.
Thanks Gavin
And in other news, it’s the final day of the DFS sale!
At the pantomime in York, where I grew up, the dame (Berwick Kaler) always used to throw Wagon Wheels out to the kids in the audience. We would sit through over an hour of painful, telegraphed, wooden acting and lame, stunted script just for the opportunity to fight tooth and nail with those around us for a slightly sticky marshmallow & chocolate sandwich biscuit. But did we clamour to go back, year after year? Yes. Would we have voted for it in some kind of talent contest? Yes. So…
…maybe X Factor should have each act hurl the confectionery of their choice into the audience and see if that influenced the vote? They could sing like a cat stuck in a mangle but if at the end of their atonal warbling they lobbed a load of chocolate Hob Nobs at the assembled plebs, they might just make it through. Sweet makers would fall over themselves to get theirs thrown into the crowd. Win-win.
Liven up the snooker by playing it on a huge, obviously branded Hungry Hungry Hippos table, which will be occasionally played with by massive CGI children, gobbling up the balls just as John Higgins is lining up a double kiss with screw back onto the pink. With his giant novelty Toblerone. And the balls are Creme Eggs.
I think there should be a Lego Star Wars TV series, based on the Lego Star Wars game, based on the Lego Star Wars Lego set, based on the Star Wars films. BUT – and here’s the clever part – all the characters would play Scrabble.
Instead of clouds, sun, raindrops etc appearing on the map as the forecaster runs through the upcoming weather, symbols indicating branches of McDonalds, Halfords and the Cat Protection League pop up.
Stephen Fry to have the Apple logo tattooed on his forehead for the next series of Kingdom.
There should be a section in the middle of Top Gear where they try out a small selection of irons, and agree that the Rowenta Smart Steam is the best by far.
Bring back Easties lyrics…
# Anyone can fall in love
# It can happen when you eat at Nandos #
Post the collapse of JLB, Peep Show’s Mark Corrigan goes to work for RBS – the big-hearted bank that’s kind to animals and loves a bit of good clean fun.
If i were to be bitten by one of these snakes i’d be in real trouble. That is, if i wasn’t carrying my Nokia 5530, which gets an excellent signal even in the remotest regions on the planet.
Bear Grylls – Fake survialist
#Anyone can buy a Ford
#And at these prices
#You’d be crazy not to
Funny you should say that, pilch: http://www.stephenfry.com/2009/10/09/kingdom-come-kingdom-gone/
That’s good news, 4*. Kingdom was shite.
#Labour!
#Everybody needs New Labour!
Fry and Laurie reprise their roles as Jeeves and Wooster – this time wearing incontinence pads outside their clothes.
The dove from above to be replaced by Dove from above.
# I’m not sick but I’m not well
# And I’m so hot
# Cos I’m wearing this North Face fleece… #
The new Tardis to come in kit form from the planet Ikea.
They could digitally manipulate scenes in Open All Hours to include Erasure’s ABBA-esque EP.
Available from Our Price in 1992 for all time-travelling fans of shit bubblegum electro-pop lite!
#Guess no one told you life was gonna be this way
#You should have spoken to an independent financial advisor about employment protection insurance
Of course for my money these georgian terrace houses just can’t compete with the modern comforts and affordability of a Barrat home, wouldn’t you agree Kirsty you plum voiced sprog factory.
Casualty’s Big Mac to eat Big Macs.
Bring back Footballers Wives. As well as the lovely Chardonnay, we could now have characters called Pinot, Sancerre and Produce Of More Than One Country.
No poddy then? I was kinda hoping that I would have it for work tonight? Or is SH still working on it?
The Box Hill picnic in Emma to be catered by Domino’s.
Doctor Hoover
He travels through time and space, with a bag.
The ship in Red Dwarf gets a new galley, with appliances by Smeg.
Jonathan Ross to be sponsored by Ross. The new house band on his chat show will be Four Fillets of Cod and a Piano.
Welcome to another addition of Question Time. This week we’re coming to you from fucking Doncaster
And our first question comes from Miss Chlamydia Allgood
How does the panal feel Bounty performs compared to other leading brands?
Peter Hitchens you colossal shit?
James – Unfortunately, I lost my internet connection because Richard Branson is a bastard. Thus I couldn’t send Swineshead my half of the ‘cast until this morning. He’s currently working on it, and it should be available this afternoon (Monday morning, possibly Tuesday).
You Canadian anus.
In Time Team, they dig up a spectacular gold-look AngloSaxonesque hoard each week, which can be yours just by ringing the number on the screen – but hurry! These treasures can’t stay buried for ever!
Du Beke and Forsyth’s Chinny Black-Up Hour – sponsored by Kiwi Boot Polish.
Holby City to change its name to Holbky Jelly.
ITV doesn’t need to win the ratings war with BBC on Saturday night. It just needs to rebrand The X Factor as Anusol.
“G-G-G-G-G-G-Granville! F-fetch your J-J-Jerrr J-J-J-J-Jerrrrrr, your J-J-J-J-JML Doktor P-Power M-Magic Eraser!”
Doctors should do a deal whereby Germolene is the only remedy any of the doctors can prescribe, whatever the story – pregnancy, nervous breakdown, siege etc.
Match of the Day: Swan Vestas
It was either Milk of Magnesia or Kaolin & Morphine in my day, Pilchard. I caught terminal bowel cancer once – my mum sorted it with Milk of Magnesia.
In The Wire, instead of all that nonsense with the kids signalling to each other and the money changing hands, the punters simply order their supplies online and the Ocado van delivers at a convenient time. Even to the east side towers.
Beechams Powders, Naps. They came in a little envelope thing.
*dribbles nostalgically
Welcome to Film 2009, this week i’ll be reviewing Zombieland wot i saw at Vue and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, wot i also saw at Vue.
Also out at Vue this week..
“What’s that, Sooty?”
*whisper whisper whisper*
“DFS’s sale must end this Bank Holiday Monday?”
Tonight’s movie premiere is The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford Focus.
#Neighbours
#Everybody needs good neeeeiighbours
#and home insurance provided by Avvviva
Corporations could use this to create a better image for themselves, so
Insurance companies should sponsor crimewatch
Stacey Dooley investigates child labour sponsored by Gap and Nike
Disaster Emergency Committee charity appeal, sponsored by Esso
#Oh what happened to you,
#Whatever happened to me?
#What became of the Berocca
#We used to pee?
#Skippy,
#Skippy,
#Skippy the bush peanut butter.
Come Dynorod With Me
Restoration to be sponsored by B&Q. Griff Rhys Jones visits properties in danger of falling into ruins, and slaps a load of artex on them.
Dis site am go wrong, not take my commens
Ahem: H*le in the Wall to be sponsored by Barclays.
James, if you’re starved for podcasts, I can recommend the “Answer Me This” one.
Tinky Winky
Dipsy
Starbucks
Shell
Or for the more up-to-date parent:
Yoko! Jakamoko! Total Fuels!
Of course since the discovery of oil beneath this remote hebridean shore, the oil companies have been moving in. This can’t bode well for this breeding colony of rare seabirds canit Chris?
Fee on your kneejerk reactionism Kate! Exxon Mobil has an excellent track record when it comes to environmental responsibility!
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Scrabble and Ginsters
That’s bad news, Ex! Burt Lancaster will be landing on the beach in his chopper.
Bird’s Eye For The Straight Guy
Blue Peter to come out of the closet and proudly feature FAIRY LIQUID bottles in its craft projects.
#One banana two banana three banana four
#There’s plenty fruit and veg at your local Tesco store
Rentokillaghost
The slapstick spirits tackle a cockroach infestation at a spooky haunted castle.
30 Xerox
Comedy set behind the scenes at a photocopier company. With Sarah Palin.
In Play School, they replace the square, round and arched windows with Windows 7.
I probably meant “they upgrade them to Windows 7 so that they no longer work properly”, or something equally satirical.
*watches Pilch go…*
Look at him, he’s a marvel
Marvel ®
Jackalenory
Children’s stories, with added fabric softener.
Prisoner Cell Block Preparation H
or
Prisoner Shell Block Preparation H
or
Prisoner Shell Bosch Preparation H
or
Primark Shell Bosch Preparation H
“Welcome to Countryfile, with me John Lewis.”
The Doctor: “Wait! Rose!”
We’re all watching CH4 Carry Grant film….great
Mattie Burke: “It Disney matter.”
Mid Ann Summers Murders
Sergeant Bergerac spends hours and hours looking for a serial killer in a PVC nurse’s outfit. (The killer, not Nettles.)
Mastercardchef
Ordering takeway? Priceless.
Canadian Anus hahaha that’s great! Is that my new moniker?
The Bic Of It
Semi-improvised single-camera shenanigans in the offices of a disposable razor company.
I am just watching Micro Men from last night, and as well as a quite horrendous amount of obvious publicity for both Acorn Computers and Sinclair Computers, in a quite flagrant cross-promotional deal, it features one half of the 118118 gentlemen pair.
Is this what I pay my licence fee for disgrace disgusted all be sacked flogging’s too good for them.
Yours,
Mrs Tunbridge Wells
It’s monkey-er, James.
The Curious Case of Hitler’s Tits!
I can’t wait for the ZX10 to come out, JRME. It’s going to have 8 terabytes of RAM and it’ll be the size of a scrabble tile. AND IT’S BRITISH.
Monkey ears?
Disney Time
A programme featuring clips from Disney films.
No Pilchard, its Moniker. Nappers already took me to school with the Monkier. Actually there is a definition of monkier on urban dictionary
This is a word with French origins that describes someone who likes to have their sphincter tickled with a peacock feather.
eBaywatch
A team of lifeguards buy and sell collectibles in this taut beach-set drama.
That thing with the feather became “monk eater” in English, James.
In the new series of Cranford, Dame Judi Dench drives a BMW – much to the disgust of diehard fans of Mrs Gaskell, who point out that in the original books Miss Jenkyns had an Audi.
Pilchard – either you hate your job or You’re trying to avoid some sort of deadline.
Either way – keep up the good work old boy!
2010 sees the first series of Grand Designs produced in association with Weetabix.
“But I’m worried about that wheat roof. Will it keep the winter rains out?” +++AD BREAK+++ “It’s January, and Terry’s wheat biscuit house is almost ready. It just needs twenty metric tonnes of THIS – white granulated sugar.”
If it means anything, pilch, I am very fond of ‘Rentokillaghost’
Back from the pub *buuurrrrp*
A Question Of Ritter Sport
The perfect combination of amiable sports trivia and posh chocolate.
Life On Mars
Sam Tyler awakes in 1973, where it’s possible to work, rest and play on a Mars a day.
It means everything to me, Fourstar – everything.
Costa
A journey around the Costa’s of the United Kingdom, uncovering stories that have made us the island nation we are today.
Kodak
The bald New York detective (TV Savalas) solves crimes while sucking on a camera. His new catchphrase is “let’s get some prints”.
Actually, instead of Autumn watch advertising exxon, they really should have product placement for Trill
The Millets On The Floss
Sunday tea-time costume drama adapted from the classic George Eliot novel A Rambler’s Guide To Dental Care.
I watched Snatch last night. What a load of old shite that was. No wonder Madonna left the talentless twat.
Snatch was better than Lock, Stock, CM. Are you sure you didn’t watch Revolver?
In havent seen revolver but I quite enjoyed lock stock at the time. havent seen it since mind. what are you up to these days dave?
still running google I see. impressive.
SWT Sunday
Watch a railway company go downhill rapidly.
Monarch Airlines Of The Glen
Feelgood comedy drama set in the wide open spaces of an Airbus A320 bound for Dalaman (via Lockerbie).
In the new series of The Vicar Of Dibley, Alice and Hugo set up a local branch of BAE Systems and sell weapons to Frank and Jim, which they use to take over Dibley and establish a nu-communist state.
charlie mingles: I liked Snatch. I mean genuinely liked rather than meh it was ok better than some shitty wimmins film about green tomatoes.
Are you sure that wasn’t Revolver……oh.
No Fourstar, it was Snatch. I preferred the one about green tomatoes and that was shite. Im planning to see the Donk and Scorzazye spoof one by Shane Meadows/Paddy Considine soon. if thats shit I’ll kill meself. again.
Horses for courses, fourstar.
findus should sponsor can’t cook won’t cook
Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow to come from the offices of France Telecom.
Snatch wasn’t fit to lick Where Eagles Dares’s boots. Was there a cable car fight? No! Was there a bit where Clint Eastwood cuts a Nazi’s throat? No! Was there a really tedious bit in a castle? No!
Fuck Snatch – YOU’RE NO WHERE EAGLES DARE.
Silentnight Witness
Drama series about a team of forensic mattressologists.
OK. Whatever. Snatch is good though.
it’s no Where Eagles Dare, but there does seem to be quite a good review on another Epic Win Media site today of the Considine/Meadows flick Mingles-although far be it from me to promote myself on here twice in one comments thread..
Just been told that Cary Grant was gay.
I’m I the last one to know or?
An actor? Gay? That’s ridiculous.
we could rename telly as the Google box, thereby having permanent product placement right in our homes
Inspecsavers Morse
The Jaguar-drivin’, Wagner-listenin’ detective stops by the Oxford branch of a well-known opticians to look for clues – and a spare pair of graduated bifocals.
“Other EpicWinMedia sites?”
“How amazing!”
“I must check them out….”
Yahoo! Do You Think You Are?
Celebrities research their family history the tedious and inaccurate way – online.
Interceptor – Yes, I saw that. However, no offence, I dont know your work sir, so not sure how much of a recommendation that is.
Did anyone see that Guy Ritchie interview in todays Guardian? Absolutely hilarious. what a fusking twat.
yes fusking.
Alas W H Smith
…ran out of jokes about ten years ago.
Celebrity Bird’s Eye Potato Waffle Squares
Celebrety noughts and crosses, where the celebrities are housed within a potato waffle
Hotel Babycham
There’s a bottle of sparkling perry in every scene.
Hovis Babylon
There’s a slice of brown bread in every scene.
Robert Peston to be formally renamed as Robert Sacla Pesto.
I dunno mingles-just have a look at the many other fine, fine reviews on there, find a film you’ve seen, and see if my expert opinion chimes with your own! I am a self-promotin machine!
What was the game show where celebs were in a giant sort-of-noughts and crosses board? it weren’t blankety blank…
I see you never reviewed the invention of lying.
Why be the only media outlet in the wester world ( including my local freesheet the Edinburgh Herald and post) not to crucify this tedious shite.
Celebrity squares, Interceptor
Our Friends Provident In The North
With Mark Strongbow, Orangina McKee, Jackdaniels Craig and, um, Christopher Kettlechips.
Our Freinds Provident in the Northern Alliance, maybe Pilch?
Bugger – I meant Northern Rock
Boots Shapers Coronation Chicken Street
Dull-as-ditchwater soap set in the sandwich department of a high street retail outlet. May contain scenes of lo-fat yogurt.
Ooh, i have a gret idea. We should get a show called the Apprentice, where people compete to be the apprentice of a businessman. The possibilities for pproduct placement in that are so big, the show will pay for itself..
…OH!
celebrity squarres! good call I couldn’t be arsed with IoL, it were alright if you like Gervais I suppose, and a pile of crap if you don’t. And I don’t really, wearing a bit thin isn’t it? See-honest, impassioned reviews you can trust!
Podcast’s up, cool kids.
The Northern Alliance was a warlord coalition that went bust and had to be bailed out by the taxpayer, Mel, not a TV show. You mean Hotel Taliban.
Hi!
Doctor Poo
For those times when it feels much bigger on the outside
Bye!
*note may contain scenes of rectal ruination
Right I’m off. If I don’t get a curry tonight, I may sulk. Cheerio.
I’m off too. Pizza and beers for me.
I’ve run over 13 miles this week and need a treat AND my feet are sore!
Oh, I’m playing at Borders in Southampton tomorrow if you’re ….you know….
In the afternoon..
Nick – You’re playing a book shop in the arse-end of nowhere? You’re hardly Elton John, are you?
No, what you are is A CATASTROPHIC FAILURE. I bet your parents are ashamed of you.
Have a good weekend!
If it’s not too utterly flaky to say so, well done all you loves, another Friday whooshes past in a happy daze of F5 and not working at all. Thank yous in the size of this great value 12-pack of Andrex toilet roll. Softer, stronger, longer.
Bye everyone, i should have left an hour ago
Well done everyone, double ton.
Fourstars right – that was exceptional.
Please, just one more:
#…
#Born under a Labatt’s sign
#With a Bluetooth in your ear