You read right.
The BBC website reports that Hollyoaks’ actor, Ricky Whittle – hot favourite to win Strictly Come Dancing – has been involved in a collision between his car and a pedestrian. What’s more, he’s been arrested on suspicion of assault, and the talk of the town is that the person on the end of his bonnet was a photographer. Allegedly.
As the victim only suffered minor injuries, I think it’s fair game to pad out the rest of this post – given I haven’t watched more than 20 minutes of Strictly – with weak, dance-related wordplay – none of which refers to the still-presumed-innocent Whittle.
- At the first sign of trouble, I generally foxtrot out of there… !
- It can’t all have been Whittle’s fault – after all, it takes two to tango…. !
- Well if he will go waltzing around town… !
- Samba-dy needs to have a word with him… !
Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you.
59 Comments
So he has been cha-cha-charged by the police then.
This is awful, especially since he’s a policeman
Oops, missed out a question mark – makes all the difference if his lawyers are watching, I imagine.
Is that a reference to his role in Hollyoaks, electro? You’ll have to clue me up, I know nothing about this chap.
no adult male should be known as ricky.
Dear me. I hope the fucking irritating paparazzi cunt was OK.
Yes. Depressingly, I know that he’s a policeman in Hollyoaks. Or at least was. He might not be now, having gone a bit bent. I haven’t seen it for months.
I usually only watch it with the sound off and the curtains closed, while my wife is out.
Paparazzi 2-step?
Have you ever watch Eastenders using subtitles with the sound off? It’s quite watchable…
I’m Northern, and therefore can’t understand a chuffing word of Eastenders without subtitles.
EastEnders is fine as it is!
#dontchangeeastenders
Ah – wrong social media time wastage system…
As of a few months ago I managed to persuade the other half to stop watching Hollyoaks. Unfortunately this just resulted in her switching to It takes Two every day at 630 instead.
Still at least it means I can stare at Claudia, guilt-free
Nice use of exclamation marks in this post! I laughed so much, I dribbled orange juice down my chin!*
*Mark Dolan! – Sky Magazine!
Just realised that due to a special configuration I have, I can send work emails from anyone on the system.
*plots*
Jamie – Sometimes, not even five nights of Claudia a week is enough, so why not fire up this image whenever the fancy takes you?!
Cheers Naps, will save that up for Sat or Sunday night – try as I might I can’t get excited over Tess Daly – I think she’s some sort of fembot.
Personally, I prefer Kat Deeley.
Oh, Naps, she’s darling! !!!
Legal question: since when was hitting someone with a bloody CAR assault? Surely it should merit a grander name than that. VGBH or something.
*ahem* is responsible for EastEnder’s subtitles *ahem*
*gets shot by apostrophe police*
Hello,
I am in a fucking BigBucks (TM), in that London. Due to only having enough head space for one town I have forgotten where they put the all the other cafes with internet access.
JRME – I think if you deliberately drive at someone, you can actually get done for assualt with a deadly weapon, which is quite a serious offence.
So far today the filling that i had done on wednesday has fallen out, and i’ve spent an hour trying to fit guitar strings- why do some people find it so easy!
This is why i prefer Guitar Hero to, y’know, actual guitar playing
Jamie? Meet Nick.
I know fourstar, but he’s a *proper* guitar player so i feel all inadequate. I’ve been playing since 1997 and still can’t change guitar strings in under an hour or play barre chords without destroying my hands.
I think I’ve hurt my ovaries
Those pyramid teabags are great but the tea would have more room to move about if you got rid of the bag and flung the tea in the air. Surprised PG or Typhoo or some of these so-called tea companies have worked that out already. I’m going to pitch it on Dragons Den
Jamie: Oh right, I just thought he might have some tips for you
Cheers fourstar – I fear the only tip he may have for me is “Take up the harmonica instead”.
Strings are now finally on, so that’s a start. All together now “Kum by Ya my Lord, Kum bay Ya”
fifi – come to the betsey trotswood tonight for a beverage (of course i’ll be on the soda and lime, fucking sober november fuck’s sake fucking healthy fucks arse month i hate it). my mate’s playing a little acoustic something or other.
Aw Breeks, I’d love to, but I have a Dinner Thing this evening, which will be a shocker to get out of. I am going to aprty tomorrow, and you’d be welcome to come, but I don’t think you like techno and dubstep and so on, do you?
We could still have Sunday, if that is any good?
i like dubstep but tomorrow i’m PT-in-the-park in the morning (ie: run around in the mud and then pay a nice man for the privilege) and then early dinnering with and in-law and then have to go to some godforsaken shoreditch bar (prob full of ‘trendy people’ – i may wear a pinny) for a friend’s b’day.
sunday? maybes. where you staying?
Can I just say how pissed off I am that Owen’s dead in EastEnders?
Introduce a brilliant character played by a good actor for once, then kill him after a few months.
Irritating.
you’d find it less irritating if you just didn’t watch, swinesy darling.
i am not irritated at all. who’s owen? owen from last year’s xfactor?
Breeks – Dahn Sarf, but I have an oystercard. Let’s FB, so everyone else doesn’t get all bored.
Swines-I am sorry for your irritation.
i don’t mind boring people.
really, it’s fine.
My only tip would be buy a string winder Jamoe. Costs aboot a quid and worth it’s weight in plastic.
My record is about 30 minutes for my 12 string but I have been doing it for aboot 25 years. I generally manage to puncture my fingers at least once!
I haven’t been the same since “little willie’s” sad demise…
Got that disc yet mel?
Cheers Nick, will check those String winders out. Could be what I’m looking for.
Saves your fingers, all that turning…..
Ooh yes, Nick, the Mr told me I had a package this morning. I had to leave the house at toobloodyearly o’clock today to get the train, but it will be a nice treat for me when I get home. Thanks a million.
would you do this to your mum?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1231266/I-turned-mum-drab-fab-What-happened-daughter-arranged-mother-makeovers.html
Found one here Nick. Presume they work for both acoustic and electric? Ta muchly.
RE: Owen
HEAR HEAR!
That’s the fella. Try it in the shop though as some can be tight, some unscrew when used. I have loads as I keep losing them.
I had one once………trails off…
I’ll be in the Fat Cat in Sheffield over the weekend, folks. Anyone who’d like to join me and the missus for a drink can just piss right off and leave us the fuck alone.
(Unless it’s Jamie … groom groom …)
See Jamie, he’s quite nice really
*sharpens grooming knives*
Podcast’s up!
Aren’t you supposed to groom people with a comb, Nappers?
Like the nit nurse used to have – metal. They can be deadly in the right hands.
I may disappear suddenly, cos I am about to run out of battery and have to be somewhere soonish.
In case I do get cut off, have loverly weekends everyone, and I hope that we can do Sunday….
If i don’t get cut off, you will have more drivel to read soon.
Breeks – nice! A very original comment, that ‘then don’t watch it then’ one…
Except I run a TV blog, see?
YOU PEOPLE.
Nice simple pub food eh?
Fraid can’t Napolean – am going with girlfriend to the local church Christmas market here in Doncaster, then family stuff with her brother who’s visiting from Germany.
*lives a rock n roll life*
Where is this new song?
*hopes that story was believable*
Just seen Chris Evans is going to do holiday cover for Adrian Chiles on One show. Is that a good or bad thing?
I quite like Chris Evans…..
His latest incarnation is better than his old one – just wouldn’t have been the show that I thought he’d do. Though he can’t be worse than when Gethin Jones covered for Chiles
Nick – Still ain’t quite right. Will have it to you as soon as I can.
It’s all part of him taking over from the Wogan, probably…
If I knowingly go home and down bottle after bottle of wine in the knowledge that if I have a bad enough hangover I won’t be fit to drive to IKEA tomorrow morning and look at wardrobes, does that make me a bad person?
Ha ha, Seems a bit suspicious he waited 4 hours to hand himself in,
Some cynical septics might say he had indulged in a few drinks at the party and was maybe slightly over the limit? Leaving it 4 hours would reduce his blood alcohol level down enough to be under the legal limit.