Hooray! We’ve reached the end of the WWM End of Decade Awards! After this category, all the results (if there are any) will be scientifically tested by WWM crack team of television scientists and converted into RAW DATA. This raw data will then be manipulated into something approaching some results – and you’ll hear all about them before 2010 staggers round the corner!
But wait! First we’ve got one last category to deal with! And it’s possibly the most important of all…
That’s right! We want to know the grimmest TV moment of the last TEN YEARS!
There are no limits here. Anything that fair turned your stomach or wound you up and into a frenzy. Anything unpalatable that drove you away from the screen, screaming in agony or fury!
Perhaps a TV host having a nervous breakdown in front of millions did it for you?
Maybe it was a desperate wannabe on reality TV doing sex with an inanimate object that got you wailing?
Was it that woman what did sex with Beckham wanking off a pig?
Let us know! For Christ’s sake – LET US KNOW!
And, as I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to hear – it’ll be back to business as usual from Monday. Thanks for your patience!
*end of football comment*
77 Comments
I thought we already did this category, kinda? Didn’t we decide that Loos wanking off a pig was the winner? This was closely followed by Kinga and the bottle on BB.
And where was my TVs nicest programme category? I wanted to vote for Meet the Natives, anything by Ray Mears and Bruce Parry in Tribe
As a common domesticated pig, i found the LoosPigWank incident to be the most erotic thing on tv in years.
-Meridian Leeward
Who was the TV host who had a nervous breakdown?
This year’s Royal Variety Performance was pretty awful.
That or Saddam getting the long drop.
Close run thing.
Swineshead’s very good at introducing these categories…
As for my nomination…Billy Connolly running about naked on Comic Relief. He annoys me at the best of times but the fact his pubic rug isn’t purple was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Our Vanessa broke down on the first ever celeb BB.
It’s snowing again.
Cheggers getting his cock out was pretty grim.
Cheggers was on channel 5 though. More people are seeing me get my cock out right now as I type.
The downside of webcams …
Lily Allen’s chat show was a bit of a car crash, if you are happy to define “a bit” as “a metric ass-load”.
I need sexual gratification more than dignity.
Are you typing with your cock, Dave? And does that improve your WPM score?
Gordon Ramsay. I know technically that’s a number of different moments, but I’d never heard of him before this decade, and now I have. And I don’t care for that one little bit.
Yes, i have ’sticky keys’.
Do you employ the same method in internet cafes?
You qwerty little man.
The last time I was in a web cafe the guy next to me was watching images of young ladies being tied to the bed and tickled. True story.
Yeah, but I didn’t have bradband at home in those days…
4* 10 out of 10
Your member must have a small diameter for you to type with so few mistakes, Dave.
if you don’t want stick keys you simply put the CAP lock on. CAP.
I use the same technique as the Why Bird from Playschool.
Fascinating.
*tries to think of something else*
Cribbins was a God on TTB last night.
NTB
WTF?
Cocks …?
Pffffff … I’ve had Nick bleating at me for weeks to send him a song and when I finally do, what do I get?
SILENCE.
Bastard.
Grimmest moment was George Galloway pretending to be a cat with Rula Lenska on Celeb BB.
Sept 11th 2001 was pretty grim too – a really depressing episode of Eastenders that day.
I have issues trying to recall what I did this morning let alone trying to scan my brain over a decade of TV I may or may not of seen…
However, I’ll go for Susan Boyle as she turned my stomach
NMTB
Does NMTB stand for Not My Tenor, Boyle!?
Is Boyle A Tenor or did you read something about Tenor Lady in an article and get confused?
NOSTRADAMUS BY JUDAS PRIEST
I’d forgotten about September 11th, Jamie. That surely takes the prize.
Mind you, it wasn’t half exciting telly from a far-away spectator’s point o’ view.
The military coupe of Chile 1973 tore my heart as well.
It must be odd being a TV news producer. On the one hand on a day like that, you’ve got thousands of deaths and a world plunged into the depths of terror; on the other hand you’ve got a chance to win a BAFTA for Best News coverage.
Swings and roundabouts.
Grimmest moment that was quite pleasurable was the bit where Patrick got pulled apart in Dead Set. OK, I’m a gore-wuss but that bit was when the pillow covered my eyes.
I’m waiting grimly for Snowmageddon. What’s the chances a piano moving company will still move a piano if it’s all snowy and stuff?
Imagine how much your pictures would have been worth had you been sitting on one of those planes that crashed into the World Trade … no, that doesn’t work.
This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen, ever
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GxdTdrNmg
Oh, that’s a twee auto-smiley. Sorry about that.
And, as I’m sure you’ll all be relieved to hear – it’ll be back to business as usual from Monday. Thanks for your patience!
I love that! So tomorrow’s question and podcast aren’t back to business enough for you, eh, you big-nosed bastard? I hope you CHOKE on your aeroplane flight back from your Rwandan amputee sex holiday.
On the subject of news, how come the News awards always go to big events – coverage of state funerals, disasters, wars etc. Surely the very importance of those events mean people would watch them anyway.
Now, make exciting the coverage of the Bank of England leaving interest rates untouched and THEN you deserve an award. It’s all the wrong way round.
That link’s knacked, piqued.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8417789.stm
try this F*
Jamie – i second the nomination for george galloway on CBB. truly hideous.
i think bb could be responsible for so many, unsurprisingly. michael barrymore , i think on the same cbb as george galloway, showing what a truly deluded, self obsessed and hideous man he really is. and , of course, kinga with the bottle. gobsmacking. or something.
Public Information Notice – the snow has reached Doncaster at last.
Interesting country Uruguay.
Homer Simpson calls it U r gay!
The Galloway incident definitely has to be near the top of the list *shudder*
He’s been to my work a few times recently. Mainly for shameless photo opportunities. Unbelievable, I know!
Was that sarcasm Piqued?
You’ve only just got the snow, Jamie? We’ve had it over here for a few hours, you bunch of laggardly Doncaster RETARDS.
It only lasted a couple of minutes too Naps
*knows the feeling*
Let’s hope the new decade will bring less egocentric TV, less celebrity and property programs and more erudite, thought provoking and socially responsible TV. Some good comedies too and hopefully uplifting news
items.
And prior to the World Cup, please no celebrity football matches.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/8418289.stm
Am I missing something here?
What d’ye mean, Piqued?
The contents are listed…
i watched eastenders once. as a foreigner i shall be forever traumatised.
how IS everyone today eh? i went to barnet this morning. fucking cold, too, on top of that hill.
Oh, right. I suppose the rozzers’ll ask for the brand of perfume and what colour the folk in the photo’s hair is or something.
Breeks – You wouldn’t know cold if it booted you up the arsehole.
yes i would, nappers. i lived in antarctica for a year.
YOU wouldn’t know cold, you idiot, if it ate you. like a polar bear.
I bet they won’t
“alreet sof lah coppah, ay’ve coom te peek oop me fooking bag an tha”
“Ay, whaz innit theh?”
“Fookin’ fowtow, siggees n’ pearfewm, an me mams ashes, leich, in a fookin’ tin”
“Ay. Tayk eh, an fook ov”
Balls, Breeks, BALLS! There’s no call for wishy-washy, interfering social workers poking their Guardian-reading noses into other people’s business. You, you dribbling phallus, wouldn’t know cold if it pulled off your tits and shoved ‘em nipple-side-down up your nose.
Piqeud – Sorry, I only speak English. Didn’t get a word of whatever that was.
Piqued, sorry.
(Fanny)
It was perfect that scouse, NC
Kirstie Allsopp’s a silly bint, isn’t she. From an interview in ‘Stella’ magazine:
“Our Christmas food follows time-honoured family traditions, so it just has to be turkey, sprouts and stuffing – oh, and roast potatoes too!”
So just like everyone else in the known universe then, you self-obsessed spunk bucket.
Tsk.
That was supposed to be Scouse, was it?
‘Coom’? Nobody anywhere in the British Isles says ‘coom’. Or ‘fooking’, for that matter. Try saying ‘fooking’ out loud and then cast about for an accent where that pronunciation fits in. Nowhere, that’s where.
Y’see, unlike you southern types with your ‘cam’ and your ‘facking’, we actually pronounce the ‘um’ and ‘uck’ sound in ‘come’ and ‘fucking ‘ properly.
AND we pay less for EVERYTHING.
Right, I’m off. Don’t tell the wife.
why would it shove them nipple side down? surely it’d be nicer for all involved, including the nipples, for them to go first.
anyway i know cold. i know it well. i know the cold that lies in the heart of the undead. that kind of cold.
Do you think she means her family, Fourstar, or families in general? If it’s families in general, I wonder if she follows other traditions such as coming to blows over Monopoly, drinking a horse’s portion of egg-nog and farting and following festively through into your brand new (unwanted) underpants?
Breeks – Yes, but think about the final results. Surely everyone involved would rather see a pair of tits hanging out of your nose with the nipples at the bottom (in the fashion of udders), than two bloodied balloons of flesh with all stuff and fat and what-have-you dribbling out of the bottom?
i think you’re entirely wrong, nappers. stuffing tits up your nose is something only ever done in private. you spoon. you should know that.
It wouldn’t be me stuffing ‘em up your nose, would it? It’d be the cold. The cold you wouldn’t know about even if it pulled off your tits and well we’ve been here before …
i don’t need the cold to stuff tits up my nose for me. i can do it all myse….
shut up.
i know cold.
You don’t know cold.
*thinks of Breeks*
*thinks of Breeks knowing about cold*
Nah, you don’t know cold.
*thinks of Breeks out in the cold with no clothes on for the hell of it*
PHWOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!
damn right, nappers.
*tweaks*
MARVIN GAYE
When the Worst Witch went pantyless and tripped over her broom. It wasn’t bad television as such, but I wanked until I bled.