The big news for Britain’s Next Top Model fans is that Lisa Snowdon has retired from hosting duties in favour of a slightly older, but perhaps slightly more qualified replacement – namely, one Elle MacPherson.
Anyone who watches the UK’s answer to the Tyra Banks franchise on Living TV will tell you that among the most annoying aspects of the show, besides the shrieking twigs that make up the contestants, is the previous host.
Though she has a winning, Hertfordshire accent that places her firmly as a British representative, it was always difficult to take her seriously as the conducter of this particular symphony, as what started out as a strong modelling career, featuring work with Gucci and Vogue, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Elle covers, her career can’t really any longer be called ‘Top’ when you consider her work with Kelloggs Special K, Neutrogena and After Eight mints. Not wishing to be cruel, but that’s hardly supermodel territory, is it?
So in comes The Body, and she says she’s looking forward to it.
“I am really enthusiastic and motivated to work with the team of Britain’s Next Top Model.
“We are looking forward to finding the face that can represent the next generation.”
Let’s hope they also stop kicking out the best looking girls around halfway through the run. And get rid of that zombie lurking in the background.
*end of football comment*
37 Comments
I love ’shrieking twigs’. That is all.
She’s an imposter “The Body”. Jesse “The Body” Ventura is much better. WWE wrestler? Check. In Predator? Check. Governor of Minnesota? Check. In short, a far better The Body than that The Body.
I want to go on a nobbing odyssey with Elle ‘The Fanny’ MacPherson. I’d also like her two nude friends from off of that film with Hugh Grant and him off of Jurassic Park in it to come along for the ride.
Ugh!
*sets scary cat on Napoleon*
I see the scary cat now JRME. It’s really not that scary.
It looks as though it only recently died.
JRME …
1. I’m far too busy listening to Whitesnake to reply to you.
2. You’re only jealous I’m not taking you on my nobbing odyssey.
I’d watch Nappers Nobbing Odyssey, if Bravo TV decide to pick up the televisual rights.
I believe Homer’s Odyssey was originally called Homer’s nobbing Odyssey, before his editor urged him to drop the “nobbing” from the title. Probably a wise decision in retrospect.
Why would I want to go on a nobbing odyssey? All that fannying about with bags of wind and screeching women and hubris. I’d far prefer a nobbing sojourn, or perhaps even a nobbing long weekend in the Isle of Wight.
Ha! Mr Green, that’s a very good spot. He’s a bit PABLO! in’t he?
More people would have read Homer’s Nobbing Odyssey than they have Homer’s Odyssey. Indeed, if more classic books and films contained the words ‘nobbing odyssey’, more normal folk would read ‘em and watch ‘em. To whit:
The Seventh Seal’s Nobbing Odyssey
Crime, Punishment And A Nobbing Odyssey
Citzen Kane’s Nobbing Odyssey II – Nobbing Odyssey In Space
See?
As long as Ben Dover isn’t going along with him, playing the part of the cheeky sidekick, then I really don’t care.
Well lucky for you, JRME, that I ain’t inviting you on my nobbing odyssey. I don’t want you there, d’ye see?
I am, however, happy to accept your invitation to come along for a nobbing long weekend on the Isle of Wight.
*books two tickets to Isle of Wight*
*orders 60 gallons of goose grease*
The Seventh Seal’s Nobbing Odyssey would still need subtitles, Naps, and NOT dubbing.
I’d say he’s a little more Schrödinger than Pavlov, JRME!
See what I did there? I intentionally misread your comment in order to make a very witty and clever joke.
What the rubbery muck is PABLO?
2010: A Nobbing Odyssey
It would need dubbing, Jamie. Normal folk don’t watch films with subtitles because that’s neither British nor normal behaviour. And they ’specially don’t want to be reading the bloody subtitles when it’s a film about Max Von Sydow nobbing the Grim Reaper as part of his ongoing nobbing odyssey through the realm of the dead. They’d miss bits.
Oh, Nobber Where Art Thou
Nobbing Hill
Nobbing Hood
Batman and Nobbing
I think we’ve lost Mr H to the land of punnery.
One Nobbed Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?
I haven’t got the hang of this
Nobbing For Apples?
(There is a film called Bobbing For Apples apparently)
Reading subtitles and watching the action are not mutually nobbing exclusive, Naps – it is possible to do both. That’s why we have evolved into beings with two eyes, innit*
*may not be scientifically accurate
None of you have, Mr. Green. You’re all failing to put the word ‘odyssey’ in your film and book titles. Look:
Beethoven IV – Beethoven’s Nobbing Odyssey
A Weekend’s Nobbing Odyssey At Bernies, Nobbing What Remains Of Bernie Part VIII
A Nobbing Odyssey On Elm Street
Nobbing for Apples sounds like a sign a very low rent prostitute would put outside her premises.
Jamie – No, it’s not normal. Unless you’re one o’ them weirdos wot has eyes that go in two different directions, in which case you’re a lizard or possibly an owl (if owls can look in two different directions). If you had subtitles, you wouldn’t be able to see Max Von Sydow’s nob going in because you’d be too busy reading this:
“Hurdy gurdy hurdy gurdy. Do you like that? Do you like THAT? Don’t like it, do you? Hurdy gurdy hurdy gurdy.”
That’s why you need dubbing, see? SEE?
Or a tramp, Jamie FTTY. ‘Will nob for apples’.
Hows about:
A Nobbing Odyssey Too Far
Nobbing Odyssey on the 4th of July
Full Metal Nobbing Odyssey
The Longest Nobbing Odyssey
The Thin Red Nobbing Odyssey
The Great Nobbing Odyssey
War films fit into this quite well, don’t they…
One Nobbed Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Why is Max Von Sydow saying the name of a musical instrument over and over again whilst doing his… ahem… nobbing?
Mr Green – Pablo the drug mule dog from the adverts. Where David Mitchell does his big boy voice and says PABLO! But Schrodinger was better. Please don’t hit me again.
Goose grease, eh? *looks forward to involvement of perfect roast potatoes somehow*
That’s more like it, Mr. Green.
By the way, if Mel’s about, she might like to know that I’d ‘do’ the following 80s hit-makers in this order:
1. Bananrama
2. Sinitta Twix
3. Kylie Minogogue
4. The Jive Bunny (up its arse)
Britain’s Next Top Nobbel?
Jamie – Because it’s in Swedish. That’s what Swedes say inbetween bouts of nobbing, having nude saunas, being alcoholics and hanging ‘emselves because it’s been dark for the last five years.
Ahh ok. Pablo! ‘So I picked up the phone, somehow…’ I like that bit. I didn’t mean to hit you. I’m sorry. I just got caught up in the moment, you know. You I can’t help it sometimes. Please don’t call the police. Again.
The Little Mermaid would have been vastly improved by being a nobbing odyssey. That lobster fucker would have been game, I’ll wager.
(Unless the Little Mermaid wasn’t street-legal, in which case scrap that idea.)
Balloo’s Nobbing Odyssey? With that jazz monkey?
As a mermaid, wouldnt she have just squirted her eggs out into the sea to be fertilised by any chancer that happens along?
Doesn’t sound like a particularly good nobbing scene to me.
I was thinking she probably has a Mer-fanny tucked away at the back, Ex. The filthy lobster would start his nobbing odyssey there, and then cast his net further afield to incorporate the likes of King Triton and that miserable Grimsby bugger.
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