It’s Saturday morning. The papers are spread out in front of you, you’ve had a wholesome breakfast and, with buttery fingers, you lift a cup of tea to your lips and watch the Omelette Challenge on Saturday Kitchen. It’s tradition!
But those who tuned in for the regular thread on the BBC’s weekly cooking show on December 5th, in which chefs fight to cook an omelette in the fastest time a la Top Gear, were shocked to hear Tom Kime SWEAR, as his eggy mush stuck to the pan.
F*CKING HELL
…said Tom, battling his own tools and watching his leaderboard dreams fall apart before his eyes.
Ofcom are unhappy about all this, report DigitalSpy, citing Rule 1.14 from their massive book of dos and don’ts.
“Ofcom noted that this was a live show and the production team acted responsibly by giving repeated reminders about acceptable behaviour to its participants
“In [Broadcast] Bulletin 138, however, Ofcom resolved a similar incident in another edition of the Saturday Kitchen series.
“As a result of the fact that this current example of the use of the most offensive language was not noted during the live broadcast, Ofcom has decided to record a breach of Rule 1.14 on this occasion.”
Eggcellently put.
Shell we move on?
*end of football comment*
138 Comments
It’s National No Smoking Day!
*sparks up*
HOORAY!
I think we need a National No Drinking Six Pints Of 1664 Day.
*lies down*
On my second rollie of the day. Extra slim filter – thanks for the tip Nappers.
fourstar – when I gave up I was at the point that 6 pints would ruin me for about three days. It doesn’t get any easier I presume?
What a game though. Full permission to talk football.
Full permission? OK.
I see Wednesday won on Saturday …
I thought Wednesday were playing Sunday, on Tuesday?
What a game indeed, SH. Dodgy 20 mins or so after half time when they got back into it but Vermaelen was a giant, hurling himself in the line of fire at every opportunity. Song was quietly efficient and then Nasri…………well…….wow.
That cooking show is dreadful and the omelet challenge thing is plain stuoopid.
This is my fifth year of non smoking so there.
Good mourning.
If you want to re-live it: Arsenalist highlights
I leaped into the air when Nasri finally buried the ball. An absolutely amazing goal. He was dancing.
Lowri Turner talks sense on Wright Stuff SHOCKER.
As a scientist of the beautiful game, I have to say the Arsenal method is interesting. Basically the theory of Arsenal’s football style has been practiced at Barca for some years now. And it does work…in Europe. However the weakness is the lack of physical prescence which is exemplified in the premiership when playing the Blues and to a marginally lesser extent Man U. This aspect of the game cannot be ignored. Intricate passing patterns might only go so far. Do not forget the Arsenal took zero points from these two (though unlucky at Old Trafford). Nonetheless it is interesting to watch and I have never understood why Eboue is unpopular. He’s a good player.
It will be interesting to see how they do this season.
DINLT: Fair points, but you don’t need to beat Man U and Chelsea to still win the title
And Eboué was unpopular last season because he didn’t try, he dived too much and gave the ball away too often. However, he has worked hard on all those things and is now a cult hero. Similarly with Song; he took time to settle, also getting booed on occasion but now we can’t live without him.
We’ve got about ten cult heroes now in any one game.
And Silverstre.
Hooray! Now Lowri Turner’s gone back to her normal Daily Mail self!
*normality restored*
I have to say Vermaelen has been a bloomin’ good buy. He has taken to the premiership like a duck to water.
The thing is that I do not think Arsenal will win the premiership. Whilst the run in on paper looks easier, I think Arsenal will succumb on occasion on their travels. They do not have the grit to churn out the result. With Man U and Chelsea to meet each other, this fixture will act as a spur to both teams to be on form and get the wins on the lead up to the fixture. Chelsea need Hilario to step up to the plate too and fast. Next week’s game against Inter promises to be a scorcher.
Am I right in thinking that the current Aero advert that boasts the bar now has ‘33% more bubbles extra free’ is the first time in history an advertiser has used the fact that a product now contains a third less chocolate than it used to as its main selling point?
“They do not have the grit to churn out the result.”
I think that used to be the case, but we’ve improved in that area a lot. I guess we’ll see. Still any one from three.
It reminds me of that car insurance company that boasts that it’s not on a price comparison site.
Why’s that then?
DINLT talks like a man losing his grip on a lead to me…
Nappers – depends on whether or not you like fat. It always upsets me when they reduce the fat content in my favourite soft cheeses and crisps.
The Direct Line one with Paul Merton and Stephen ‘National Treasure’ Fry? I think it’s because they’re not on price comparison websites, Nick.
Arshavin runs like a cartoon character, his little legs literally whirl.
Are you a Blue, DINLT? I forget.
It’s salt as well, Swineshead. You may as well say ‘Now contains 33% less flavour!’ Thanks a lot, the government, for shaming crisps and sweets maunfacturers into removing the flavour from our snack foods.
The buggers have ruined Wheat Crunchies …
Because Price Comparison sites aren’t particularly reputable. It’s often a limited search – limited to their clients.
And Swines it sounds as if the gooners are getting carried away. Porto are not Barcelona!
Not carried away – just enjoying regaining some points and rejuvenating a title chase and now, after last night, enjoying overturning a first leg defeat in style.
If you get your thrills trying to deflate that kind of optimism then have fun, but I can’t see what you’ll get out of it other than a reputation for being a waffling killjoy.
YOU WAFFLING KILLJOY.
This is why I choose not to talk about football. As well as the conversation being interminably dull (see above), it usually descends into pointless mud-slinging as one worshipper of a pack of preening millionaires tries to do down another worshipper of a pack of preening millionaires. Again and again and again and again, forever.
What SH said. We were dead and buried by the media and the pundits in both October and February and have bounced back to be genuine title challengers. That’s exciting.
We have also overturned a first-leg deficit in the top European club competition with style and won by five goals, with a clean sheet. That’s also exciting.
Good luck with Inter
I do not want to be a killjoy. We can all dream.
***Dreams of an evening in Madrid in May watching Chelsea run out, sat next to Penelope Cruz and Pilar Moreno off El Dorado.
We have also overturned a first-leg deficit in the top European club competition with style and won by five goals, with a clean sheet.
You have, Fourstar? What position do you play for Arsenal? And, as a multi-millionaire premiership player, can you lend me £100?
I play left-midfield, Naps.
Can anyone convince me that one fooball team is BETTER than another?
I don’t see the advantage of NOT being on a price comparison website.
I link up with fourstar as I’m the left back.
A football player will always be a football player Nap, regardless of whether they are paying a fiver to play for the local park team or being paid 100,000 a week.
Nick – I explained it. Read my comment. All will become clear. The murky fog of price comparison will clear.
Unless, as I suspect, you’re drunk.
Can you convince me that one song is better than another Nick?
As soon as I see phrases such as *left back* *square man on* *game of two halves* *we wos robbed* in someone’s comment, I generally pass (geddit?)
Drunk?
At work?
If only….
MAN ON!
Still talking football, are we?
Everyone* bangs on about Wenger’s obsession with developing talent. I would like to point out that he is a genius at picking players during the transfer windows. Arshavin and Vermaelen must be the best transfers in years.
*not really.
Nick – I can convince you of that. AC Milan is a far, far better team then Sleaford Town FC.
PLAY IT WIDE!
Arshavin was hardly a find Indy. Vermaelen was however.
WHO WAS THAT TO?!
The Heckington Windmills are a better team that Sleaford Town FC.
DABS are better than Sleaford Town FC.
Look if football could be played on paper we would all win the pools. Maybe Sleaford could hold Milan to a draw. Afterall Italians teams are known for their defensive strengths.
MAN ON, SWINESHEAD!
MAN ON!
Play it long!
…and maybe it’s time to reassess Bendtner, following last night’s hattrick…
*doesn’t reassess Bendtner*
He’s a Danish enigma.
GET INTO HIM
I have to say, I did enjoy the ‘emmanuel eboue’ chant to the White Stripes Seven Nation Army tune….
My mate Tim’s match report with never seen before video footage
How did they turn emmanuel eboue into the seven nation army tune? i suppose it’s “that riff” we are talking about, right?
“em-em-manuel eboue”?
Correct, Indy. I also love the one for Song someone sent into the Alan Davies podcast – to the tune of Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong…
Alex Dimitri Song Billong….
Where the eagles fly etc…
*walks in*
*walks straight back out again*
Actually, I do have something to contribute! Hooray!
Naps – they use that “selling air” technique for make-up too. Dream matt mousse and all that guff. They take an existing product, make a toddler blow some bubbles in it with a straw, and sell it to you for double the price, harking on about how it’s aerated and whatever.
Whatever! (TBH it might be brilliant. Never tried. I have no truck with all that nonsense)
Is there anyone else in here who plays FIFA10? if so, does that person also think that lower ranked teams gives harder opposition than the five-star ones?
Harrumph, the one five minutes I get to sit around on the internet this week, and you lot are all talking about football and makeup.
*stays anyway*
*kicks stones*
Indy – if you go to that match report link, the Eboué song is on the video clip, at the end.
I also play FIFA10 but only on the iPhone which is a bit more random it seems (and a bug in it automatically juggles your team, which confuses the hell out of me when I get Denilson in goal
Naps, just because the Aero has more bubbles doesn’t mean it has more air. It could contain the same amount of air, but have smaller bubbles. And these smaller bubbles could give you a better texture when you’re eating. Just saying.
(I don’t work for Rowntrees by the way)
Good Morning!
We could always talk about jizzing, Mel.
*jizzes*
Anyway, who developed a technique for filling Ice Cream full of air, so you got less Ice Cream for your money, eh? Mrs Thatcher, that’s who!
How d’ye like THEM aerated foodstuffs, Naps?
Balls, Thumps, BALLS! The buggers have had a third of the chocolate away. I knew selling off Rowntrees to some European super-corporation was a bad idea … and now the chickens have come home to roost!
I’ll bet Jamie’s left arse cheek The Bloody EEC’s behind this!
Nappers, that will be more interesting…
*jizzes*
How dare you, Thumps! That saintly woman had NOTHING to do with aerated ice cream – that was The Bloody EEC! AGAIN!
These ‘Euro Maniacs’!
Rubbish! It’s because of the EEC that you can get quality, Italian Ice Cream in the UK instead of foamed milk fat (aka Mr Whippy) that we had before we joined. Once again, the EEC has improved the British diet!
*is impressed and pleased by the topic swerve*
*tries to change subject, but would really like some more feedback on that FIFA10 thingy*
I like to cook food. It’s a bit funnier when you cook food for a couple of friends. Tonight I’m having two vegetarians over for dinner. What would you serve if you had two vegetarians over? Jizz? Stones?
I thought Mr Whippy was devoid of any form of milk, fat or otherwise.
*runs off to check*
Indy – I would advise to serve them risotto, or something with pulses in
Serve them the bubbles from an Aero, Indy.
BALLS! We didn’t need their fancy-pants ice creams, thanks very much! Indeed, within three years of the Italian prisoners of war opening up their bloody ice cream parlours in our towns and cities, what happened?
WE LOST INDIA, THAT’S WHAT!
To hell with your silky smooth, empire-dismantling, bureaucratic, interfering bloody ice cream, Thumps! Bring back Lion’s Maid!
Anchovy-free Jannsen’s Frestelse? with roasted beetrooots?
Lion’s Maid, nappers? aren’t they the ones that gave us frzen milk on a stick? Not muh culinary skill involved there, eh? I think they are owned by Nestle now.
Speaking of food, I’ve just received my copy of the latest BBC History magazine and on the bag it was sent in is the text:
“This bag is oxo-biodegradable”
That’s clever, eh? How do they do that, Mel? Does it work with Bisto as well?
It was Lyons Maid, Naps. You know, Lyon, as in France? Nestle? That’s why you liked it. So much better than Trebor or Golden Wonder ice creams.
Fiona: Jansons frestelse!?! You must be joking. Only on Christmas, Easter, Midsummer and possibly “Kräftskiva”.
Sorry, it’s Lyon’s Maid.
And anyway, what’s wrong with Mini Milks? They were up there with Lemonade Sparkles and Mr. Freezes on a hot summer’s day when you were trying to get in Abi Titmuss’s knickers (or at least cop a feel of her knockers, what there was of ‘em).
It DOES contain milk. The internet told me so.
Up yours, Thumps! It was Lyon’s after some fella with the last name Lyons (I think).
Next you’ll be saying the Frogs came up with Seabrooks crisps! BASTARD!
Not ‘Lyon’s’ – ‘Lyons’.
I can’t write proper through rage, me.
I remember a great ice cream on a stick called “Lord Toffo”
Toffee flavoured “funny feet” kind of ice cream mouse stuff with toffee on the inside…..
I liked that green bugger in the shape of a frog that tasted of chemicals.
*can’t see what Heath Ledger’s got to do with omelettes*
Thumps – I have just snorted hot coffeee out of my NOSE.
*rubs nose*
Indy – I know that you Swedes have very rigid traditions, but imagine – you serve them Janssen’s frestelse now, and it will be talked about for years. They will always say ‘Ah, that Indy, helikes to play fast and loose in the kitchen. He served us potato gratin, and it wasn’t even a religious/ fish based holiday’
Of course the purists in my almost family would say that at Kräftskiva one serves crayfish on toast and a bucket load of aquavit. And the only embellishment should possibly be some kind of lemon mayonnaise (but I think they do that for me, on account of me being all forren)
It was actually Lord Toffingham!
Lemon mayonnaise?
Like salad cream, you mean?
Can’t beat a bit of salad cream.
No, swineshaed, not like salad cream. Like mayonnaise with all lemon in it.
I can’t stand salad cream (lemon mayonnaise).
Oh, and what about the king of ice cream on a stick products – the Wall’s Feast. Mmm, Wall’s Feeeeeeeeeeeet
I used to like those ghost ones, which were like big milk maids, but with a picture of a ghost on them. I’m sure the ink they used will have no lasting health effects.
Wha…? Abi Titmuss?
JRME – he never got anywhere. His footballing skills were insufficient…
Did the ghost ones have ‘hilarious’ jokes on the sticks?
What does a short-sighted ghost wear?
999 Letsbe Avenue!
(Or something)
weren’t those ghost ice creams pink flavour?
I thought the were white flavour?
Funny Feet….
Time for soup!
Ah, thanks, Mel. I’m confused, but admiration-y. Admiring.
Naps – YES they did!
Mm, soup. Time for a boiled egg and toasty soldiers!
That’s good, Fiona – because I love salad cream (lemon mayonnaise).
Btw – please don’t call me ‘Swineshaed’ as he’s my Scotch cousin and you’ll cause all manner of confusion.
JRME – I’m going to copy you and have the same.
EGGTIME
EGGPALS! Can we form a superhero gang, united by our slightly bound-up digestive systems?
Sorry swines.
I had a plate of fucking cabbage for my lunch, that they billed as ‘vegetable crumble’. There was no crumble, and only one vegetable. I feel distinctly cheated.
I’ve no time for salad cream (lemon mayonnaise). The buggers in a nearby sandwich shop advertise an egg mayonnaise sandwich and then use lemon mayonnaise (salad cream) in it! I ask you!
The owners of this shop should be skinned alive and thrown in vinegar baths.
No worries, Fiona.
JRME – Yes, yes we can. And we will kill enemies with noxious bumgas.
Your Scotch cousin “Swineshaed”? Haha! When my mate Swinäshöd will here about this…
*chuckles*
Indy – so will you consider my controversial Frestelse plan?
Swines, does your Scotch cousin come down for holidays and cause all manner of mishaps and misunderstandings, you know, like McWomble?
What’s a bumga?
Oh.
Hah! McWomble. A blast from the past
*goes all misty eyed*
Fiona: I have considered your frestelse but… Loose cannon. Maverick. Out-of-the-box-thinker. Nah. I’d probably just over-cook some pasta, add a bit of ketchup and throw some basil over it.
Just heard the latest single from MGMT. Rubbish.
Mmmm.
Chicken & mushroom pie with chips.
Mmmm.
What is it with you swedes and your ketchup obsession? Especially with pasta.
*shakes head*
Just been listening to James’s piece on you know what. He was pretty funny.
Ketchup is the only vegetable that grows in Sweden from August til March.
Tomato or mushroom Indy?
Tomato or mushroom what?
He means Mushroom ketchup. It ia apparently a thing they can buy in the UK, Indy.
Also, don’t you have those massive vegetable stores that look like air raid shelters to the untrained British eye?
yeah mushroom ketchup is ace!
Hello!
Look at this gonk -well done Daily Mail, well done:
Mushroom ketchup
I’m going with the tomato one. Mushroom ketchup? Heresy.
Airraid shelter vegetable stores… I don’t follow you on that one. My local “Hemköp” vegetable section doesn’t differ from my old Sainsbury vegetable section in Stoke Newington. In Malmö, where I live, we got a quite large arabic population and they tend to sell vegetables from stalls. But airraid shelters… no.
Vegtables on stalls? The barbarians, everyone knows vegtables are meant to come all shiny and covered in plastic.
Vegetables? What-out of the ground? I wouldn’t let my kids eat that FILTH. It’s a strict diet of microchips and birdseye fish fingers in the Interceptor houshold. One for mumsnet this!
Interceptor, i stopped reading at the words ’set up my own child protection consultancy’ the author clearly has a vested interest in scaring the shit out of parents
I think the parents might want to know why the daily mail is paying it’s journos to pose as teenage girls on FB to be honest…
*calls producers of ‘to catch a predator’*
Yes Indy, i have seen many of them (although probably not in the cities) they look like anderson shelters, and are part buried. I allways thought that they were air raid shelters until a conversation in a car once, as we passed one. I forget whatthey are called now, but can ask the Big Guy.
WTF – there is *actually* a show called to catch a predator?
it’s a US show where they deliberately entrap middle aged men by posing as sexually active minors, then stand back while the Utah state troopers beat the shit out of said not-yet-actually-a-criminal…
It’s great!
It was on Charlie Brooker Fiona… and I was forced to look it up and get it on here…
NPA!
Hmm, exceptionally dubious.
Oh, and YAY, the NPA has returned!!
Ah. That good ol’ “pose-as-a-teenager-on-chat”-story. We have got a journo who does that every second month and try to drum up an angry mob. A bit creepy to do that kind of thing, isn’t it?
Do youthink there’s any way we can use this argumaent to utterly destroy the Daily Mail’s credibility among it’s hog-brained readers?
Wouldn’t that require the Daily Wail to have some cred to begin with?
Greetings all.
Ha, spaghetti. My mother calls me a snob because I am so down on the Hate Mail. Nice to see that I do not stand alone.
Indy – i was talking about jordkällare ^^ up there.
They look like anderson shelters.
Too right!
*stands collectively*
Jordkällare, jordkällare, jordkällare. Yes, they are a bit airraid shelterish I suppose. A couple of friends just bought a house and found a hidden room in their jordkällare. Turned out that the old owners used to make their own spirits in there.
One Trackback
[...] NewsGush: Ofcom Blast Saturday Kitchen’s Omelette FILTH | Watch With Mothers [...]