A little late in its arrival but born perfectly formed, it’s Watch With Mothers Podcast 39!
It’s a NewsGush episode again, and this week we discuss three of last week’s news stories in something approaching depth. If something approaching depth is a scattershot, rambling squabble loosely based on nothing.
It’s a proper treat!
Men of poor taste and predictable leanings:
Cut out your exercise regime and pick up a pie. Reorganise tonight’s drinking session and cancel your gym membership. Cheryl Cole’s sick of buff gents and wants an Average Joe!
And what’s more, she actually specifies she wants a fellow with a ‘pot belly’.
At some point in March, Cheryl Cole is set to appear on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross – and the Daily Record reports that she’s likely to ‘open her heart’ to the chat-show host.
How else is a modern starlet expected to get over the dissolution of her marriage other than parading it – with bonus tears – on a prime-time, Friday evening chat show?
She’s fought, fought, fought, fought, fought for her love, but the latest revelations about Ashley Cole’s sex life have proved too much for miming X Factor judge, Cheryl Cole.
And now, demonstrating an aptitude for irony that could be entirely coincidental, she’s apparently seen fit to dump him – via the medium of text message.
This week Jonathan Ross’s megastar guest is world-famous Cheryl Cole – the extraordinarily untalented Girls Aloud singer and charm-free co-sneerer on The Fucking X Factor.
By Christ – looking at some of the quotes it looks like Cheryl’s coming out with some really incisive stuff – we’re talking content that has never even been considered by a human mind before - let’s take a look. And please, if this just seems like gobbledegook, please don’t feel inadequate. We are looking at some pretty dangerous material here in terms of cutting edge topical observation.
“There’s no such thing as a private life in this industry. I spoke openly about my marriage in the past and it’s come back to hit me in the face… I learnt from the past that you shouldn’t do that.”
“There’s something about celebrities having a perfect life. People need to relax and realise we’re human, too.”
“All the tabloids have to fill their pages [even] when we’re not doing anything, it just rolls on.”
How very stoic. It’s amazing she can cope with all the publicity she gets when she and her money-grabbing bumfaced husband do absolutely nothing to court it.
I can tell you this: I’ll be tuning in, along with the rest of the nation, eager to focus on the complex nuggets of wisdom this intellectual powerhouse spouts from her stunning face whilst Jonathan Arse looks on wistfully, considering how much of our license fee he’d pay to have a go on her.
